Aperture

I didn't realize
that by not working with you
to achieve closure
I was creating an aperture.

Closure means that
something is complete
By this logic
Aperture means that
something is incomplete.

Our relationship is incomplete
because
I am
My heart is incomplete
The aperture
lets you in
like a flash of light
and your image is
burned onto my heartfilm
whether I like it or not.

I think I need a new heart
you can still crawl in
although your staying power
isn't what it used to be
My voicemailbox used
to be filled with your
after midnight
drunken
rambling
confessions of love.

This was the foreground, clear
I cherished your
uninhibited words
for their scarcity.
This was the background, unfocused
I never questioned
their sincerity
or my own
that came later.

A lower f-stop can achieve this effect - 
this means a wider aperture.

I was always anxious
doubted myself
my worth.

Your words pop up on
my phone
And while I am flattered
that I am in your
thoughts
I am also reminded that
you scarcely know me anymore
I don't question your sincerity
it is obvious now
but it is also unsolicited
unwanted.

This is now the foreground, blurred
I erase your texts
almost as soon as
they appear
I read them but
am not hanging
on every word
no matter how sincere.
This is now the background, clear
Your messages have become
scarce, which is how I like it.

What f-stop could achieve this?

A cut is an aperture
a scab is closure
a scar is the picture
the composition that results
from the collaboration of
open and shut
wounded and healed
birth and death
light and dark.